Water
Tuesday, January 10th, 2006This skit was was well received at one of our shows, but unfortunately the video quality isn’t even up to our low standards. So here’s the script. Enjoy!
Water
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INFOMERCIAL: ACTORS (2): Spokesperson in lab coat (F or M), and factory work (M)
[SPOKESPERSON IN LAB COAT ENTERS STAGE, BOTTLE OF WATER IN HAND..]
Spokesperson
Water. What our bodies need most. Our bodies are 65% water, so shouldn’t you drink the best water for your body?
I want to tell you about a revolutionary new bottled water, made for active people like you: GO. The freshest, cleanest, most natural water you can buy. You won’t find it at your grocer, but now it’s available for delivery to your home.
What makes GO the best? Other brands purify their water with ultraviolet light, heat, carbon filtration, and other filtration methods that put water in contact with unnatural substances, leaving it less pure than you think.
GO’s revolutionary filtration process avoids contact with all metals, plastics, minerals, and chemicals, leaving only the cleanest, freshest water you can drink.
GO is 100% purified by the most natural filter on earth: the human kidney.
Hundreds of fasting employees at our plant overseas, on a diet of only tap water while on shift, stand to bring you most natural filtered water on the market.
[MALE FACTORY WORKER ENTER STAGE, TAKES A BOTTLE, TURNS HIS BACK TO THE AUDIENCE AND MOTIONS TO URINATE INTO IT.]
Spokesperson
No one can make a filter better than nature. The result is the cleanest, freshest water you’ll ever put to your lips, making GO number one.
[FACTORY WORKER HANDS BOTTLE TO SPOKESPERSON. SPOKESPERSON DRINKS.]
Spokesperson
Call the number on your screen right now to start your home delivery.
[SCENE ENDS.]